I GOT IT!!

I got a new job!

I'll be working for the US Consulate General's Office in Melbourne*

*Pending security and medical check

Its a position as a Visa Clerk, and will be starting just after i get back from America! The good olde US of A government seems like a good employer great remuneration, both Australian and American public holidays and plenty of annual leave!

Very Excited!!

Confidence

I lack it,
I wish i didn't but its one shell im having trouble breaking!

I don't really know why. It makes me very shy in large groups of people i don't know. Even online it gets me i rarely start a conversation on face book, I start to think, there probably busy, what if they don't want to chat? Insane I know.

Even when people approach me. I have lost about 37kg in the last 18 months and, especially at church, i get complimented. As soon as they say something i say thanks, then will always say something like "Just a few more kg and ill be done" Why can't i just take a compliment and be happy? I don't know.

I think it has to do with spending most of my life, bar the last few years, hiding so much of myself. I've always tried to deflect attention on myself, in fears of being found out to be the gay kid. Tried to blend in with everyone else's views, thoughts, opinions the list could go on.

Coming out slowly but surley has helped definatly. I'm not nearly as shy as i once was, working with the public got me out of my shell quick. Following that my thoughts have been coming out too, everyone now knows the disgusting humor i have, the love for just horrible pop music.

Still though anyone complimenting me makes me uncomferatble. I just can't figure out why?? Is it from growing up as the fat kid? Being the gay closet kid growing up? Church drilling us with how horrible pride is?

And how do i break this?

I have come along way the past few years, and love where i am in life i have the greatest friends i am 99.9% myself now, and the weight on my back of hiding is gone. Just this one last shell to break.

Twenty-Five

I'm 25 years old and this is my 25th blog entry, 25 random things about me-

1- My first memory of being gay was when i was eight. I loved the movie Home Alone, I thought Macaulay Culkin was awesome. I watched that movie about 10 times on holiday and distinctively remember a dream where were were hanging out as best friends and even held hands.

2- I can recite the narration to the stretching room scene in The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.

3- In a week i have gone from knowing very little about True Blood to becoming hooked and watching season 1 and all the shown episodes of season 2. The similarities on how vampires are treated in it to the way gays are is interesting to see.

4- I have a second interview for a new job at the US Consulate this week

5- I rarely get depressed, but when i do, it hits me like a car, and sticks around for a while.

6- I wish i could dance.

7- I never realized how much i listen to Musicals until i looked at my Top 25 played songs in itunes. 15 of them are from musicals, you have to get to number 7 for the first non-musical.

8- I seem to not be able to get through a day at work without involuntarily saying "Thats what she said" to something my boss says.

9- Vegimite on toast is the greatest breakfast in the world.

10- While in the laundry with my mum, checking my pockets for rubbish i pulled out a condom wrapper. Im still hoping her eye sight is crap without her glasses.

11- After coming out to a friend a while ago my friend asked allot of questions including whether i would prefer to be "Heath" or "Jake"... I still find that the funniest/greatest way to ask such a question.

12- I haven't stopped listing to the soundtracks for West Side Story and In the Heights this week.

13- I hate Perez Hilton, but read his website. Anyone who manages to "report" and draw sperm on peoples faces brings out the 12 year old in me.

14- I have to sleep with music on. If it's silent i think and stay awake for hours.

15- I have come so far in my coming out, but when my family brings up the lack of a girlfriend i feel so uncomfortable, yet I'm too chicken shit to just tell them I'm gay, until i move out.

16- One of the best and gayest nights of my life was a Kylie Minogue Concert.

17- I have come out to almost all my non-church friends, it would have been all of them except for a lack of seeing some.

18- Channing Tatum is hot.

19- I think in a world where women and men should be equal that the word cock should be as equally offensive as cunt, for equal rights sake :-p

20- I watch too much TV. If a show I get into a show too much while watching it, i start to think i know these people.

21- Any doubts i had of being gay were obliterated when i was 16 and with Reece.

22- I enjoy exercising. Its time with me and Music my head is the clearest in these times.

23- A third of my DVD collection can be attributed to 3am trips with friends to 24 hour K-Mart.

24- My biggest flaw is my lack of confidence.

25- Im' 26 on the 22nd Nov. And will not be living at home. I kept that goal.

What to See...

I figure I would rely on stereotypes here....

Im spending a week in New york in October. I'm already seeing Mary Poppins, as I have loved the movie since I was a kid. Now my mate is meeting me and my other mate in NY and spending the rest of the trip with us.

He really wants to catch something on broadway while he's there, to say he's done it. Honestly If i was on my own i would proberly catch something every night of the week, I do love a musical. He would like to see a classic, so we might catch Phantom, which he has seen already years ago in Melbourne.

So I'm looking at what will be on and cannot decide on what to go see. So does anyone have any experience with any of the following musicals-

This was just in Melbourne, and i wasn't sure about it. I have never sat through the whole movie. But Elton John is a genius with musicals.. Just look at The Lion King

I have never seen Phantom, but Josh has. Does the NY version have the updated chandelier scene that i know Vegas has?

This is on in Melbourne at the moment, would be cheaper in NY, don't know much about it through

Wicked is Just wrapping up Melbourne and i saw it twice last year, but it is brilliant. Not sure if i can convince Josh to see it.

Chicago is just starting in Melbourne but would be better on the great white way i think. I love the movie, never seen the musical.

Ragtime, i have never heard of. It sounds like a revival and i know my mate was looking to see a classic.

Hair i know nothing about except one act ends in mass nudity :-p

West Side Story. Always been intrigued by. Never seen though, any good?

In The Heights. I know this one a tony award in the last few years. Know nothing beyond that.

South Pacific. Classic broadway i know, but i'm not too sure about it.

I know there are a few more show on Like Avenue Q, Lion King, Little Mermaid, Shrek. However i've either seen them or not interested. (I Really can't get my head around Shrek as a musical)

Even any plays out at the moment worth seeing? We were hoping "Mormon Musical" By the creators of South Park would be on but alas, no such luck

So anyone got any suggestions?