My mate I was eating with was making a joke that i should watch my back while traveling to make sure my friend wouldn't make any moves on me.
I laughed it off saying I'm sure this wouldn't be a problem! The conversation veered to homosexuality, and him not being able to get his head around being attracted to another guy and he just assumes that they are attracted to all guys. Me trying to explain to him, in a round about way without shedding light on myself being gay, that it works the same as him being attracted to women, "Your not attracted to all women right? It's the same thing!"
Well the talk continued and his lack of understanding it came into discussion. "I guess i just don't get how it works, men, at a primitive level, want to create/procreate. Two dudes can't do that"
Well, i tried explaining this without disclosing my self, but it seemed stupid and pointless. At this point I gave up, and spoke directly. "Look, You are just born this way. I'm Gay and i can tell you i have NEVER been attracted to women, I don't find all guys attractive..."
I wasn't expecting to do it, but I finally came out to a friend from Church. He took it great. He did say he still stands to his not understanding on a primitive level, which i explained I wish i could have an awnser for you, but i can tell you i have always been this way and the primitive urge to pro-create isn't there.
I was really impressed with his reaction, and making it a non issue. He is still the same friend to me as he was 5 mins before telling him. He didn't lay any church on me about it, instead was intrigued about who i found hot, who knew, would i tell my parents, how i think they would take it etc.
He rid all the fears i had on coming out to any church friends.
I hope all my church mates will be like this.
3 comments:
It's so awesome when you get experiences like this. It makes it so much easier when you make that leap to come out to others.
Congratulations! Glad it went so well!
One suggestion that might help him understand at least intellectually if not viscerally. Ask him to imagine the girl of his dreams, how she looks, how she makes him feel, how he imagines his life with her. Ask him to close his eyes and imagine her face in his mind, along with all those thoughts and feelings.
Then when he's got it, just say "Okay, now just change her face for that of a handsome guy. Don't change anything else, the feelings, the inspiration, the hopes, the dreams, the aspirations, all that wonderful stuff that she makes you feel. Don't change any of that, just change the gender of the partner. THAT's what it's like for gay guys." Might help him "get it" a little more.
Thats cool he was so good about it all. I am finding a lot of my friends who I thought would want nothing to do with me, that it really makes so difference to them!
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